17 Little-Known Signs Of A Toxic Relationship

You want to know whether you are in a toxic relationship or not, but don't really know how to go about it?

Well, there are a huge number of signs that will help you out, some are more obvious than others while some take more time to show or reveal.

But the truth is that even if it can be pretty difficult to decide if you are in a toxic relationship or not, you can easily do that and I'll show you exactly how...

17 Little-Known Signs Of A Toxic Relationship

17 Little-Known Signs Of A Toxic Relationship

About 52% of relationships are best described as "Toxic Relationships."

Toxic Relationship? Yeah, a Toxic relationship, is a relationship that is characterized by behaviours of the toxic partner that are emotionally and sometimes physically damaging to their partner. 

In other words, any relationship that doesn't favor you or your partner is regarded as a toxic relationship.

Toxic relationships are mainly brought about by incompatibility between the two parties involved.

If you and your partner are are unable to commune and establish healthy boundaries it's crystal clear that you are not compatible with each other and such incompatibility will definitely give rise to a toxic relationship.

In most cases, a toxic relationship, has to do with a preying partner who is constantly seeking for ways to emotionally and psychologically drain the other partner for their own selfish interests.

The most painful thing about toxic relationship, is that it prevents those involved in it from living a healthy and productive life.

So how can one actually tell if he/she is in a toxic relationship?

Well, here are crystal clear signs to help you recognize a toxic relationship.

1. Too much pain — Everyone wants a relationship that brings them so much joy and happiness.

Is your relationship making you feel bad, unhappy or bringing you so much pain always?

Do you have a feeling that your strength, courage and confidence is gradually been eroded to nothing?

It's very obvious that you're stuck in a toxic relationship.

2. Dictatorship — When your partner decides what you can do and what you can't do in your relationship then know that you are no longer in a relationship but a dictatorship.

Is your partner overly jealous and controlling you? Is your partner restricting you from hanging out with certain people or going to certain places? Something is wrong somewhere.

It is expected of every healthy relationship that each partner should be always or occasionally free to spend time with other people apart from their partner and to be free to chase after their personal interests.

Anything other than that is a pure dictatorship and it's transparent sign of a toxic relationship.

3. Trust Issues — Trust can be considered as one of the most vital ingredients of a great relationship.

Any relationship that is characterized by little or no trust is like a vehicle without fuel that will never take you anywhere no matter how long you stay in it.

Do you have a feeling that your partner doesn't trust you? Does your partner often spy on your phone messages, call log or social media accounts?

Does your partner ask you irritating questions that indicates that you are not trusted?

If yes, then you're simply in a toxic relationship.

4. Booby trap — Consider yourself in a toxic relationship if your partner is always fond of setting up a booby trap for you.

I mean, If your partner traps or puts you in a difficult situations with questions like: 

"would you rather go out with your friends or stay at home with me?" or statements like: 

"you really seems to enjoy chatting with your boss tonight."

Your partner might always enjoy setting up booby traps for you for nothing but the glory of catching you or to prove that you are just too wrong, too stupid, too dumb or too useless over a mistake of yours which we all know, everyone does.

Well, if you ever find yourself in a relationship with such a partner, bear in mind that you are in a toxic relationship.

5. Growth Hinderer — Whenever you indicates or expresses your interest in learning a new skill or another language and your partner does nothing but mock and discourage you. 

Well, they are just trying to be a barrier to your personal growth.

It could be something else, like an interest in starting up a new business or interest in getting a new job and that's how you'll be mocked and discouraged by your partner simply because he/she thinks your growth is a threat.

Well, that's unfair.

Ideally, your partner is supposed to support and encourage you to grow into a better version of yourself.

Listen up, if your partner always try hard to hinder you from leaving a productive life, that's a good sign that you're stuck in a toxic relationship.

6. Too much imbalance  Does all the work, compromise and love come from you for your relationship to work? You simply in a one sided relationship.

Virtually no relationship can survive one sided or imbalanced work for too long.

That is to say, for every relationship to work perfectly, there must be equal efforts, love and compromise from both partners.

Is your partner not making any effort to love you, spend time with you and share the things that are important to you?

Are you the only one who puts in more efforts for your relationship to work while your partner does little or nothing? If yes, consider yourself in a toxic relationship.

7. Gaslight — Have you ever expressed your concerns about your relationship but your partner waves them off or made you to question or doubt the legitimacy of your concern or feeling? 

Well, they just Gaslighting you.

Your partner is gaslighting you, if you disclose your concern about someone else's comment on your partner's social media and "you are just jealous" is your partner's reply and to worsen the matter he or she doubts if you ever trusted him or her instead of addressing your concern one on one.

The truth is that if you have a feeling that your partner is gaslighting you that is another sign that you're in a toxic relationship.

8. You over look your needs — You're surely in a toxic relationship if you avoid or over look your needs in any little way to avoid a fight, empty promises, accusation of neediness, insecurity, jealousy or madness.

Like every other person, you have a need or needs in your relationship you expect to be met which might be, connection, validation, appreciation, love, sex, affection.

Whatever your need or needs might be, If you always over look them due to the fact that your partner mocks or ignores them, then, it's obvious you are in a toxic relationship.

9. Steady judgement — If you find yourself in a relationship with a judgemental partner who often criticizes and judges you with every little opportunity, know that something is wrong somewhere.

Your partner is not supposed to judge and criticize every of your actions even if you made a mistake. Of course, no body is above mistake.

Truth be told, if your partner often criticizes or judges you in other to depreciate, badmouth or belittle you. It's a transparent sign of a toxic relationship.

10.They have no respect for you — There is no one that doesn't deserve to be respected.

Everyone knows that a healthy relationship is surely built on respect. Virtually no relationship can survive too much disrespect.

Because disrespect wears people down and gives rise to anxiety and apprehension or foreboding.

Is your partner always putting you on the defense side? Do you always find yourself trying hard to make your partner believe you are not what he thinks you are?

It's very obvious your partner have no respect for you.

Believe me if your partner doesn't have respect for you, you are totally in a toxic relationship.

11. When 'No' is never an answer — Is your partner not taking 'no' for an answer? Does your partner often get upset when you say 'No' to their suggestions or requests? It doesn't have to be so.

It's true that a healthy relationship needs compromise but the needs of the both partners have to be respected.

A true loving partner is expected to 
understand that you must not agree with everything they say.

Because, communicating what you don't want is as important as communicating what you want, for the good of both the relationship and the people involved.

Well, if your partner only loves you when you only say 'yes' to whatever they say,  then it's crystal clear that you are in a toxic relationship.

12. Unceasing narcissism — Is your partner trying so hard to make the relationship a reflection of him or herself? That's simply narcissism.

Such kind of relationship can never achieve any form of balance which is a vital part of a healthy relationship.

To be frank, if your partner only thinks of him or herself and does things only in his or her favour, there is no doubt you're in a toxic relationship.

13. Sex becomes a manipulation tool — Does your partner have s-x with you only when there's something they can get out of it? Does your partner withhold s-x to achieve some sort of end goal? You're simply being manipulated.

It's one thing when your partner deliberately withholds s-x because they are angry, upset or feels you don't care about their feelings and another thing entirely if they withhold s-x in order to control or manipulate you.

The former is normal and understandable while the latter, is an obvious sign of a toxic relationship.

14. Your weaknesses always used against you — Does your partner always bring up your past mistakes over and over again? There is a big problem.

For time immemorial, making mistakes have always been part of humanity. We all make mistakes even the most loving and committed partners are not excluded.

There's no point shaming someone over his or her past mistakes because, such act can kill even the healthiest relationship and keep the 'guilty person' small.

If your partner is fond of the habit of firing shots at you based on your past mistakes, you are obviously in a toxic relationship.

15. You can't open up to them — Are you finding it difficult to open up or share your true feelings, emotions or thoughts with your partner for fear of rejection or being penalized? Well, that's not a good sign.

For a healthy and intimate relationship to be attained, you should be able to share your true feelings, emotions or thoughts with your partner without any fear of either rejection or being penalized.

Being able to open up to your partner is a crucial part of a healthy relationship while anything other than that is best described as a toxic relationship.

16. Mutual avoidance — If you spend most of the time avoiding each other, there is no doubt that all is not well.

For me, an ideal and healthy relationship is one which the both partners always anticipate to spend time with each other.

If you are not getting excited about seeing each other or you both are always trying so hard to avoid each other deliberately I guess you don't need anyone to tell you that you are in a toxic relationship.

17. You face public put-downs alone — Is your relationship making you feel like you're receiving public put-downs alone? Something is amis.

There are certain times when it seem as if the world is against your relationship and everyone is trying hard to put an end to your relationship.

Which most times comes in form of public put-downs.

In such situations, both of you are supposed to have each others back in order to fortify the wall of your relationship.

If you guys fail to do that, then they will definitely succeed in sending your relationship crashing.

The easiest way to make their efforts of tearing apart your relationship a success, is by letting one person alone go through public put-downs which is an obvious sign of a toxic relationship.

That is to say, if you often see yourself going through public put-downs alone, there is no doubt you are in a toxic relationship.


If you've experienced one, many or all of the signs outlined above, you are definitely in a toxic relationship.
The truth is that, quitting the relationship or fixing it is totally your decision to make.
If you opt for fixing the relationship, then, you should consider asking yourself,  "Am I willing to succumb to the negativity of the relationship?" "Am I willing to endure the anxieties, stress, and troubles that might engulf the relationship?"
Thereafter, you can take necessary actions to achieve your goals of fixing your relationship.
What other signs can you add to this list that I may have not mentioned?

Post a Comment


  1. Wow!!! Lurd TK that's a great write up possibly one of the best I ever seen any where

  2. Hi TK
    it's been a while you know...
    Anyways that's a well written article and I totally agree that sex manipulation is a sign of toxic relationship because I once had a girlfriend who all of a sudden began to have sex with me only when she wants something from me.

    That is to say; she only gets on the bed with me if she wants a new phone, new clothes or any other thing. At long last I got feed up of the whole thing because whenever I needed it she gives one useless excuse or the other.

    1. Hy Patrick

      Long time I have been around where have you been?

      you are totally right bro...

      thanks for stopping by anyways